Looking back on a time of extreme chaos and confusion in my life, the result of having a malignant narcissist as a "friend," I am so happy to be free of this sinister dynamic.
At one point, I had no idea that some adults are capable of acting in such a diabolical manner. Nor was I aware of the prevalence of this type of character disorder. A combination of my own naiviety, as well a couple of other factors, made me an easy target. Although this experience was painful, it was probably necessary, because it taught me some valuable lessons.
Here are 10 things I didn't know about narcs that I know now.
- Men have not cornered the market on antisocial behavior. Women can be just as dangerous, if not a lot more treacherous. While females don't usually resort to physical violence, they certainly have an arsenal of techniques that can cause mass destruction. They destroy on emotional rather than a physical level.
- Female bullies employ what some psychologists call "relational aggression" or "social aggression." This is designed to turn people against you.
- Narcissistic abuse, especially what we see among adults, generally cannot exist unless a group of weak-willed people allow it to happen.
- These enablers are just as guilt as the narc, because without them the narc is virtually powerless.
- People you thought you could depend on let you down when a narcissist goes on the attack. They are ruled by self interest, rather than by doing the right thing. This means they lack integrity.
- The incidence of malignant narcissism seems to be at all-time high. One psychologist named Dr. Martha Stout, PhD., believes that 1 in 25 people could be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.
- Malignant narcissists operate much like sociopaths. They have no regard for the rules of society, or the rights of others. They are "unencumbered" by feelings of guilt or shame.
- The most dangerous individuals are those that appear perfectly normal, and even saintly. Some psychologists call these types "covert narcissists."
- You can run into malicious people everywhere, even at church. In fact, coverts love to assume positions of power in religious settings. (But please don't let this discourage you from going to church.)
- Oftentimes, the first sign that a narcissist has entered your life is a sense of uneasiness and confusion. During this time, your enemy-in-disguise is probably still pretending to be your friend. Meanwhile, she's busy turning other people in your life against you.
- Getting away from the narcissist is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Original Pixabay top image by Kapa65