Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Warning Signs You're Dealing with a Disordered Person

After extricating yourself from a narcissistic friendship, you'll want to avoid another relationship with anyone else who has a disordered personality. The trick is paying attention to any red flags she may be waving at you. Oftentimes, these are subtle but unmistakable warning signs.

For a few years in my life, following the death of someone close, I managed to attract my share of  false friends. One, in particular, managed to turn my life inside out. I've learned a lot since then. Now I'm very careful whom I trust, and I let friendships develop gradually.

Watch out for people who comes on too strong, too quickly. For instance, after I was awakened to the fact that a certain percentage of folks (about 1 in 25) have strong narcissistic tendencies, I happened to encounter one of them.

I had spoken with her over the telephone briefly, on a work-related matter. Within minutes of beginning our conversation, she launched a tirade against her supervisor. It was a nasty and highly unprofessional rant in which she even complained about how her boss chewed her food. I was greatly taken aback, because this woman didn't even know me.

Then she practically begged me to meet her in person because she wanted to be my friend. Amazingly, she was in a position of responsibility. Yet she seemed to have a big problem with appropriate boundaries.

This is an extreme and obvious example of what I mean. But if you proceed carefully, you'll probably be able to discern someone's character before you get too involved.

Flickr photo by arenamontanus

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