Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Can You Ever Win With a Narcissist?
The short answer to that question is no. A narcissist is always at least three steps ahead of you. For some reason, people suffering from this disorder are unusually perceptive. They read others very well. In some ways, they know us better than we know ourselves. This includes our strengths, which they envy, and our weaknesses, which they exploit.
Because narcissists are destructive, they are extremely adept at using the insight they've gleaned to cause a great deal of damage. First they size you up. They gain your confidence by appearing trustworthy. By the time you realize they aren't, they're well along in their plan to destroy you.
They also have no compunction about using underhanded tactics. This includes breaking every possible rule of social decency.
In order to outsmart them, if that were even possible, you'd have to descend to their level. You'd have to probe them for weaknesses, and then use this knowledge to topple them. A normally wired human being wouldn't want to do that. Besides, you're not devious enough and a narcissist wouldn't let you that close to their real self anyway.
This is a game you don't want to play. What you want is to do is to put as much distance as you can between the narcissist and you.
Flickr photo by smlp.co.uk