Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Balance Between Anger and Forgiveness


I'm hoping this blog can help women who've had to deal with female malignant narcissists, no matter what stage of awareness or recovery they find themselves in. My focus is on shedding light on this societal problem, in hopes that doing so can ease some of the trauma. It's truly mind boggling to think about how much damage one person can cause.

However, I also want this blog to be more about survival than about anger. That's because holding on to anger longer than you need to is a victory for the narcissist, who thrives on conflict. Moving beyond the pain and starting a new chapter in your life is the best "revenge." Forgiveness is very liberating, because it means the narcissist no longer has any power over you.

At the same time, I realize this is a process. So, if anyone is angry and leaves comments expressing their indignation over all they've been through, they also won't be judged by me. I also went through a period of anger and outrage. So I want this blog to be balanced, since anger is a normal emotional response to being bullied.

From my current perspective, it's easy for me to forgive. It's been several years since the worst of the abuse ended, because I left the setting in which it was happening. I'm still tying up a few loose ends, though, because my abuser infiltrated a number of my relationships. I'm still deciding just how to juggle one relationship with a person who is close to the abuser. I've detached myself a lot from her, and I wonder if eventually I'll need to do so more. Right now, this relationship is in sort of a holding pattern until I can gain more clarity.

Flickr photo by Archbob

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