Monday, March 17, 2014

Church Bullies Blog for a Different Perspective

My most damaging encounters with a female malignant narcissist were at church. Until this series of events happened, I was blissfully ignorant about the severity and the scope of this personality disorder. I knew about narcissism in general because one of my close relatives is a marriage and family therapist with a special interest in personality disorders.

But, until I had first-hand experience, I really had no idea that some seemingly normal people actually go far out of their way in an attempt to destroy someone else. I had assumed that anyone with anti-social characteristics this strong would be locked up, because they had committed a punishable crime.

Unfortunately, high-functioning sociopaths/malignant narcissists walk among us. They can be our neighbors and our co-workers and they can masquerade as our "friends." We can even meet them at church, as I did. Actually, church is a haven for these sorts because they like to run things. Since most other parishioners, as well as the pastor, usually try very hard to please, a house of worship is actually the perfect place for abusers to gain an upper hand.

Drawing on this experience, I started another blog that focuses specifically on narcissists who flourish in religious settings. If you're interested in this topic, please visit my other blog on church bullies.

Flickr photo by stevendepolo


  1. This is very true. One of the vilest narcissists I met was in the church. I met many disordered ones there as I worked for the church for many years, but the worst as one pretending to be my friend, while she was badmouthing me to those having the ability to judge my employment. The things she'd told them was so vile that the man warning me about her would not tell me exactly WHAT she had said, only that it was utterly vile and totally ridiculously FALSE, but that unfortunatly she had all the rest on the board believing her. Luckily I left that employment shortly afterwards, as you can't work in such a toxic environment. The liar was also a priest, so no wonder the old people on the board believed her! She totally charmed them and used her authority to destroy me. That was even meaner then my regular vicar who just used me as his scapegoat. The head of the local parish out in the countryside, a farmer, one day came home to me and told me this vicar was blaming me for little errors, that had been made when I was on leave and not working. All the little ladies in the parish therefore concidered me a totaly screwup as I made so much errors, but the farmer/head of the local board had figured out that most of those errors were made by the vicar himself, but he must had been some kind of narcissist as he rather framed me for them, then admitted he'd made them himself. Later on the police got hold of him for buying under aged girls for sex, and still many hold on to him and concidered him "saintly". Gees, some people will never change their minds on these narcissists. They are so good at conning people they are "good" and framing others for all their faults. The female priest seemed jealous cause I was married and had children, and was slim and looked better then my years. That totally pissed her off when she found out. Before that she was nice, but after she started trying to hurt my feelings, trying to find my weak spots. She totally broke my heart as I thought I had found a friend - atlast. I'd lived a long while there with no friends and my husbands family didn't like me either, so I felt so alone, and these narcs prey on lonely people, for sure.

    Thanks for blogging on these female bullies - I have so many more church stories, but this has to do for now!

  2. Hi Ingis, I'm so sorry you had that terrible experience with a person who put herself in a position of trust, and could not be trusted. Churches, unfortunately, seem to attract narcissists. However, I can assure you that God does not approve of this behavior. He must be very upset. Don't forget that He is watching this closely, and He's on your side. God bless you.