Wednesday, March 12, 2014

If You Dig a Pit for Someone Else, You'll Eventually Stumble Into It

There are a number of sayings from different cultures around the world about setting traps. What happens is the person who sets a trap for someone else will later fall into it. In Jamaican, for instance, it's said that if you dig a hole for someone else, you better dig another for yourself, because that's where you're going to end up, or something to that effect.

This saying probably means that you've likely made an enemy or two along the way, and someone else is probably digging a hole for you, according to an online poster.

There is also a Russian proverb advising against digging a hole for someone else, because you will eventually fall into it.

Those of us who live in the United States have all heard the expression, "What goes around, comes around."

This truism is also found in the Bible, in Psalm 7:8, which notes that sinners "open a hole and dig it deep, but fall into the pit they have dug."

In my own lifetime, I've seen this play out. Years ago, for instance, when I was working outside of the house, at a job I planned to leave anyway, I supervised a woman who desperately wanted my position. She was a highly charismatic charmer who convinced a higher up that I was mistreating her, which, of course, I wasn't.

Because I was planning to leave anyway, because I wanted to be home with my children, that's what I did. A year later this woman was fired, as the higher up eventually got wise to her antics.

Later, when I was out of the workforce, I ran into another female malignant narcissist at church. I wouldn't say she's fallen into the pit  yet, but it will happen eventually. Knowing this helps me reconcile what has happened, and move toward forgiveness. I'll let God take care of it.

Flickr photo by -JvL-


  1. The one who digs a hole for others, will they self fall into it.

    That is more or less what we say here in Sweden. Which sounds like the Russian proverb you mentioned, but then swedes did live in Russia too, so no wonder!

    Some say this will never happen, but my experience is that it always do. If you only are patient you will see it come true. The thing is that you should not obssess over it, just KNOW that they will be found out and their mischief will be uncovered by others. That is very comforting.

    Some breed a hopelessness around this fact that the narcissist is so clever and carefree, believing that they are always "winning". In my opinion their "wins" are just part of their "acting" to torment you. It's part of the illusion.

    If they were so "happy" - as they make out - they would not even need to do what they are doing their target. All the green envy, and the gossip, lies, smears, are NOT the actions of a truly "happy" person. It's the action of someone consumed of very dark feelings and therefore trying to hurt people that they perhaps percieve are happy and having some kind of light and kindness in them - naivity if you like.

  2. Hi Ingis, you are absolutely correct with this very insightful post. Good and happy people do not behave this way. Someone who is miserable, with themselves and others, behaves this way. A narcissist never wins in the end. Eventually, her evil becomes her undoing.