Wednesday, April 30, 2014

How Narcissists Get Away With Bad Behavior

Even when you read and write about malignant narcissism, it still amazes you how these morally disordered folks get away with what they do. Because they are so manipulative, they create tripwires for their opponents. They do this through gossip, hinting, gas lighting, directed conversation and other devious means.

Just one morally disordered person in a workplace, for instance, can poison the whole office. However, she will never be working alone because her strategy is to pull others in, so they can also take some psychological whacks at her target. If it weren't for these "innocent" bystanders, there would be no drama, because a one-person hate campaign isn't very effective.

I hope that by continually writing about malignant narcissism that people who might witness such a situation may see these dynamics for what they really are. I don't expect anyone who's morally disordered to reform themselves after reading this. (That would take a minor miracle, but, with God, all things are possible.)

Instead, someone who is not deficient in the empathy department may recognize this type of behavior, and, if they're in a position to do so, put an end to it by publicly supporting the target of the narcissistic abuse. Narcissism is very prevalent in our society, and I believe it's in our best interest to learn all we can about morally disordered people.


  1. Yes, they enjoy rigging their “tripwires,” and with a lifetime of experience, they excel at it. Many environments are so thoroughly booby trapped, that a single whistle blower achieves nothing but his own demise. Our hope lies in widespread public knowledge about personality disorders and how they effect us all.

  2. Hi Human, that's exactly what I'm hoping as well. By dragging this out into the public forum, people will see this aberrant behavior for what it is. Thank you so much for reading.

  3. All this happened to me in a church setting. I left that church and am less likely to ever get involved in church community. The narcissist was youth coordinator at the time and I was a volunteer. She and her minions pursued me outside church with the help of parishioners whose businesses I frequented.

  4. Hi Mary, I am so sorry to hear of this horrible experience. I truly believe that church mobbing is absolutely the worst, as if affects your freedom of worship, and church is supposed to be a refuge. My experience with narcissistic abuse happened at church as well.

    When something like this plays out, it seems as if the best course of action is to leave that particular parish and to worship elsewhere. Not getting highly involved does seem to help.

    Because we're living in an age of spiritual disorder, we seem to be seeing this type of horrible behavior especially at church. God will see you through this and you'll have peace and joy again.

  5. Mary, I forgot to say feel free to check out my church bullies blog, if you already haven''t found it.

  6. I've been targeted by female narcissists a number of times through my life. In particular, nearly 20 years ago I was targeted for destruction by such a person online, because I dared to stick up for various people on the BBS which she had targeted. And then anyone who stuck up for *me* got targeted. She had a group of minions to do her will, from her own special bullies, to people who knew her in school and thought she was "nice." She carried on like this for years, always finding some new target, before the Internet came around and the little BBS's died.

    Several years ago, I was targeted by another female narcissist. I let her stay in my house, because she and her husband, my "BFF," were homeless. She came up with some reasons to "target" me and accuse me of making her unwelcome, etc., while I became aware of her abuse of her husband and children. Without my knowing it, she began putting poison in her husband's ears about me, so he became the enabler of her abuse. After she finally let loose on me, and he stuck up for her, I had to cut them both loose. Her parting taunt was that I needed to "grow up" and accept the consequences of my behavior. Sigh....

    Any time I try to stick up for myself against her, she tries to cut me down and intimidate me. She's Orthodox like me, but her church has closed, and mine is the only one in this county. I hope she doesn't start coming to it. :P