Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Nardar - A New Narcology Term

Have you ever heard of "nardar?" I never had until last week. It's a new term, apparently coined by Dr. Lynne Namka, Ed.D, who has a very good handle on the scourge of narcissistic behavior we're now dealing with, as a society. In a play on the word "radar," she urges people to use their "nardar" to spot these pathetic folks afflicted with the moral disorder known as malignant narcissism.

If you've never met such a character, the words I'm writing will seem mysterious. You can't fathom how a seemingly innocent person could live such a twisted life, gaining pleasure from hurting others. But malignant narcissists really do exist, as anyone who's ever had a close encounter with one of them can attest.

Anyway, I was delighted to read bout Dr. Namka's most astute spin on how to spot a malignant narcissist. She offers very good advice on how to spot these predators from miles away. This inner voice that tells you that someone is potentially dangerous is what she refers to as "nardar."

Some of us once had our "nardar" set too low. This was before we realized the existence of people who present a false image to the public. Inside, however, they are seething with rage, anger and intense envy. They are extremely covetous and sneaky, and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. They also have very advanced skills in the art of manipulation. So they know just what to say, and just how to say it, in order to make you bend to their wishes.

Malignant narcissists consider themselves special. They have a grossly inflated sense of entitlement. Those of us who've "befriended" these types have gone out of their way to please them, only to have our kindness returned with evil.

There's nothing wrong with extending ourselves for others. (I'm a Catholic, and Christians are called to serve one another.) However, when dealing with a malignant narcissist, this virtue needs to be reigned in and we need to establish firm boundaries.


  1. "The doormat syndrome" I totally feel that is what they want me to suffer from - the malignant ones in my family of origin.

    The more I refused to obey to this wish of theirs, the worse they punished me. I totally believe it was to tame us into "house slaves" me and the oldest brother was physically abused as children, on orders from our narc mother. Father was an enabler, not wanting to get in her bad grace, so he obeyed and punished us for no reason. Some time perhaps for things her golden son had done.

  2. It sounds as if you had a very rough upbringing, at least from an emotional standpoint. The world also seems to be getting meaner, compared to what it was when I was a child. If I didn't have God to turn to, I'd be so discouraged.