Having a morally disordered person in your life reveals who your true friends are. All of your relationships will be put to the test, when a female bully is in the mix. Female abusers use social aggression, which means every effort will be made to isolate you and to sever your support system. Oftentimes, this is accomplished in stages, each designed to turn you into an outcast.
A dominant female will seize control of all social activities. She will systematically exclude you. At the same time, she will lavish attention on the people you consider your friends. She will zero in on the person closest to you, and attempt to grant their every desire. Does your best friend have a young daughter who's socially withdrawn? Is your friend really worried about this?
Narcissists are extremely intelligent and they read the rest of us frighteningly well. They use the information they gather, while sizing us up, in order to manipulate us. In such a situation, the bully will foster a friendship between the shy girl and her own gregarious daughter. As far as the worried mother is concerned, this is a match made in Heaven. Her loyalties will then be divided between you, her best friend, and her new "friend."
So, unless your best friend is absolutely true blue, she's likely to go along with the plan to put you on the sidelines. Although you can't fault her for wanting to help her child, she still needs to stand by your side, in all circumstances. Social exclusion needs to be taken seriously. It's a very cruel form of bullying, and it's the primary way female abusers attack their targets. Unlike some male bullies, women do not use their firsts and do not threaten their adversaries with physical violence. Instead, they use social aggression.
How can you tell if someone is loyal. One way is by not remaining neutral. This sends a loud and clear message to the bully that her bad behavior is tolerated.
Although we all want the best for our children, real friends do not compromise when they see a friend being hurt. Also, real friends do not defend the actions of the bully or accuse you of being "too sensitive." Real friends also try to rectify the situation, even if it involves the risk of social sanctions.