Sometimes it's difficult to spot a malignant narcissist, especially is she is the covert type. These women pretend to be devout, pious, kind and giving, which is why you'll often run into them at church. It's extremely tough to see through their facade, because they take such great measures to keep their mask from falling. Because we are social beings, and we all need friends, we sometimes choose the wrong companions. If you let a morally disordered person into your life, you'll live to regret it.
There's nothing we can do about the past. But, going forward, we don't want to make the same mistake. Cover narcissists can fool even highly trained professionals, even who've set their radar on high, in order to detect morally disordered people. So how can those of us without a background in psychology protect ourselves?
One giveaway is poor anger regulation. You'll probably see brief glimpses of rage beneath the seemingly calm exterior. Here's another way to discern that it's time to run in the other direction.
Narcissistic mothers don't like to take care of their children. At the same time, they make a point of trying to convince you, and everyone else, that they are supermoms.
However, if you pay attention, you'll notice that they don't like to spend time with their children. Nor, do they show an appropriate motherly level of concern for them.
They aren't overly worried when their children are sick. I've seen an extreme example of this, and, at the time, I just assumed the mother was much stronger, braver and more filled with faith than I was. That was until I also realized she's a very deceptive person.
Neglect of your responsibilities as a wife and mother is a very bad sign. But so is perfectionism. A mother who seems more involved with her children, but needs them to be perfect, in all ways and at all times, may also have a character disorder.
I've learned, the hard way, that how someone relates to their children often gives you a window into their character.