With a narcissist, what you see is never what you get. That's because you're viewing is a mask.Their true self is hidden behind a sweet facade. The mask will slip from time to time, but it's quickly replaced, unless you have entered the discard phase, when the narcissist has decided you are too much trouble or no longer useful. Sometimes a narcissist will discard you if she knows you can see through her mask. When a relationship with a morally disordered person hits this point, you'll experience her callous, ruthless behavior full force. But until that happens, you just see the mask.
Just today, while reading a Pinterest pin, I had a light bulb moment. The author of that made-for-Pinterest text pin pointed out that narcissists wear different masks for different people. People who abuse others first groom them for eventual destruction. So, in order to do that, they must first gain our confidence. Since each "friend" or target has a unique personality, this requires them to wear a new mask for each individual. The author pointed out this is why it's difficult for a narcissist to interact with two "friends" at the same time. It would be very uncomfortable, if not impossible, for her to keep switching masks, especially as she's trying to get to know someone.
Reading this pin cleared up some confusion I had with a certain relationship. I had wondered why this person, who has strong narcissistic traits never wanted to have me to her house, when another person was there. That's probably because socializing with us at the same time would have required too many flips of her masks.
Learning about the different facets of this destructive disorder can clear up a lot of confusion.