Monday, June 2, 2014

Don't Reveal Future Plans to a Malignant Narcissist

When a malignant narcissist selects a target, her goal is to destroy that person. If this happens at work, she will do everything in her power to cause her target to lose her job. Usually, she succeeds. About 75 percent of the time, a target is either fired, or cannot handle the associated stress, so she resigns, according to figures supplied by the Workplace Bullying Institute, a US-based organization at the forefront of raising awareness of on-the-job bullying.

Female bullies also operate in churches and in volunteer organizations. I'm hearing from others who've been run out of their place of worship. (This is what happened to me.) Others have encountered emotional abuse in various volunteer capacities, and also in less formal settings, such as among a group of neighbors who all have children right around the same age. When this happens, the children suffer as well, as invitations to birthday parties and other social events suddenly dry up.

However, even after it's clear the narcissist has "won" the battle, and you decide to leave the highly toxic environment, she may not be done with you. If you've found another job, or you are interviewing for one, it's very important that you don't breathe a word of this to anyone. Unfortunately, you can't reveal your plans to anyone who has contact with the narcissist. That's because a morally disordered person could find a way to upset your new employment plans. She might know someone at the new job, and begin assassinating your character, once again, before you ever arrive. Or, she could simply make a well-placed phone call that stops the hiring process dead in its tracks.

Even if  you think the person you are confiding in is a friend, betrayal in these situations often comes in multiples. That's because most people are weak and the atmosphere has become so poisoned by the malignant personality that no one is able to think clearly. Narcissists are also master manipulators and seem to posses a superhuman skill of getting people to inadvertently spill their guts.

If this abuse is playing out at church, quietly find a new church. Never underestimate the capacity of a malignant narcissist to cause trouble.

1 comment:

  1. I was fired because of exactly this kind of person