Saturday, June 7, 2014

Malignant Narcissists and Projection

One of the most maddening things about malignant narcissists is that these perpetrators typically play the victim. Behind your back, they'll secretly accuse you of the same horrible things they're doing. (Psychologists call this projection.) If they're stirring up trouble in the workplace, they'll claim it's caused by you. If they're treating you unfairly, they'll somehow convince every else that they're about to crack under pressure, because they can't stand the abuse you're doling out.

Malignant narcissists are smooth operators. Projection is just one of a number of tactics they use to ensure that you're left without support. If you had a group of people sticking by you, whom didn't believe the lies, the bully behavior would stop immediately. Bullies are powerless when you have a loyal army of friends encamped around you, ready to jump in.

This is why a morally disordered person will spare no efforts to sever your other relationships. Most people are either too weak to resist, to frightened to rock the boat or they simply can't see through the smoke and mirrors. Also, when a narcissist creates a toxic environment, it strains your friendships with everyone else.

Dealing with a malignant narcissist is almost always a losing proposition. In the few instances I know of, where the target prevailed, they quickly recognized the disordered behavior and stood up to the bully. This happened very early in the game, before others were drawn into the battle.

However, once a hate campaign gathers steam, you usually have little recourse. The best advice is to retreat and go no contact with the narcissist. If a bullying situation happens at work, you may have to start thinking about other career opportunities. This couldn't occur unless your abuser had at least the tacit support of her higher ups. (Or, the bully might be your supervisor, which often happens.) About 75 percent of the time, when a workplace bully strikes, targets are forced to seek new employment, according to data provided by the Workplace Bullying Institute.

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