Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The Guilt of the Enablers



Make no mistake. The enablers are just as guilty as the person who starts a hate campaign. The chief bully is only the instigator. Everyone else, who watches a mobbing unfold, shares in the guilt. I've discussed the role of the enablers in an earlier post. But I'm bringing it up again because I recently wrote a lengthy article on this topic, which explains just why enablers are not innocent. They may believe they are blameless, but they aren't, because all they have to do is to lift a finger to help, and the abuse will stop. A mobbing loses its steam if a target has just one or two strong and unflinching allies.

This is a very important point to remember if you find yourself in the midst of a mobbing, in which you are the target. In my own experience, I believe it helped in the healing and recovery process, because it was impossible to focus any anger on just one person. So I had to just forgive them all. You also realize that enablers are not your true friends. So you don't grieve the loss of any of these "friendships." If someone can't stand up for you, then it's time to say your goodbyes. This is a painful process, but it's a healthy thing to face the truth.

Being a target does put your relationships to the test. Most people won't pass. But that's okay. There are seven billion people in the world, and you don't need to hang around these weak-willed puppets. When people don't stand by you, as things come tumbling down, it says much more about their character than it does about yours.

Enablers are nothing more than puppets, and guilty ones at that. Pluck them from your life as if they are weeds. They're only taking up space, and preventing healthier relationships from blooming.

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