It occurred to me that it's been a while since I touched upon the reason I started this blog, and explained its purpose. Female friendships are very important, even if you're in a committed romantic relationship. The older you get, the more you treasure and value true friends. You often share your innermost secrets with your friends.
Consequently, it's devastating when someone you trusted turns out to be someone you can't trust. This pain from this type of betrayal rivals what you'd experience if you discovered a romantic partner was secretly trying to harm you, while pretending to be on your side. This is a very devastating experience, and it's one that's happening far too frequently nowadays. (It's my personal opinion there's a spiritual component to the rash of disorderly, anti-social behavior we're seeing.)
A number of years ago, after encountering some mean women (one in particular), I stumbled upon an article about emotional vampires. Further reading led me to learn more about malignant narcissism. Then, I realized the description closely matched these behaviors. Women (and men) who psychologically abuse others are not well themselves. They typically suffer from what psychologists call personality disorders, such as malignant narcissism. There are other conditions as well, such as borderline personality disorder, a close cousin, and histrionic personality disorder. A common thread that runs through all of them is poor impulse control and inability to maintain relationships.
So the title of this blog is Why Are Women So Mean to One Another? But I couldn't open a discussion about this without delving into the dynamics of malignant narcissism. That's because normal, healthy and happy people do not try to make life difficult for those around them. But narcissists often go out of their way to do so.
The lies, gossip, character assassination and other destructive maneuvers are often what we see when a friendship blows apart. This is malignant narcissism playing out, as the abuser shifts her gears into discard mode.
Knowledge is power, especially when we're dealing with a malignant narcissist. Learning all you can about this disorder is the best way to protect yourself from these emotional predators.