If you're involved with a malignant narcissist, be prepared to hear a bunch of unflattering adjectives hurled at you. This will intensify as you move from the idealization to the devalue/discard phase, part of the natural progression of how a relationship with a morally disordered person evolves.
Because malignant narcissists refuse to accept responsibility for their actions, and will never admit they're at fault, they like to deflect their behavior onto you. So you might be called "selfish," or "unreasonable," or "manipulative" or "controlling" or "unforgiving." In reality, all of these accurately describe how the narcissist operates.
However, selfish is a favorite charge because the narcissist wants to convince her target she needs to give more in order to save the relationship. However, there's no point in trying to preserve a relationship with a morally disordered adult. Even if you manage to sail past this storm, another one will form before too long. That's because, ultimately, there's no pleasing a narcissist.
In reality, targets need to become more "selfish" so they can move on and find healthier relationships, while severing the ties that bind them to this emotional vampire. Ironically, up until now, a target hasn't been "selfish" enough.
Narcissists prey upon empaths, those giving souls who put themselves out for others. Empaths are highly attune to the needs of those around them. A narcissist zeros in on these kindly fixers, who like help solve other people's problems, because she knows they aren't "selfish" enough. It's lack of healthy selfishness that draws someone into a malicious narcissist's deadly grasp.