Saturday, August 23, 2014

Narcissists and the Pity Play

It's often hard to discern someone's character when you first meet them. But, in this day and age, we need to exercise discernment. This is all the more true if you've been the target of a narcissist in the past. Some of us are magnets for morally disordered people, who come in all shapes, sizes and guises.

Even psychologists may have a hard time picking them out of a crowd. Because morally disordered people are so adept at reading others, and feigning normal human emotions, they adapt their mask to fit the occasion, and so they're able to fool even the experts.

So, is there anything an emotional predator may do, to give you a heads up, before you become heavily invested in a relationship? Yes, according to Dr. Martha Stout, PhD., author of The Sociopath Next Door. She has found that malignant narcissists/sociopaths/con artists play the sympathy card early in a relationship.

Since malignant people often target empaths, this, apparently, is an effective device to draw you into their world, one of the last places you need to enter.

So beware when someone you don't well plays this hand. This is where discernment comes in. You may be dealing with a distressed person who desperately needs your sympathy and support. Or you may be dealing with a sociopath. Watch carefully for other signs, and, if you see them, rush for the exit.

Pixabay image top by Nemo


  1. 25 yrs ago or so mother told my mother-in-law (whom she just met) "all" about her family fight with her siblings. My mother-in-law totally bought the whole story, feeling so bad for my "poor" mother - the "victim". After father died we found two letters from one of her siblings which truly told another story. His letters confirmed my memories and put some kind of sanity to the whole fight.

    Also we found evidence mother had gotten 500 thousands from one of her sibling, while she had told me she only had gotten 200 thousands. So, she lied and made herself out as a victim to new people, gaining empathy while in fact she was the one lying about them, backstabbing them, smearing them. Mother has done the same towards father for many years... Still does, though father is dead now.

  2. This is so unfortunate. Lies always catch up with people.