Saturday, September 6, 2014

Mom Cliques and Adult Queen Bees

With childhood activities now arranged mostly by mothers, I wonder if this is part of what is fueling the rise of "mom cliques." These are groups of mothers who form a tight little circle and exclude other mothers they don't like, as well as their children.

The mothers feel the sting acutely. They suffer both for themselves, because all their "friendships" connected to that group have drifted away. But their hearts really ache for their children, who are devastated when they're not invited to birthday parties and sleepovers anymore, all because a group of grown women have decided they don't like their mother.

It's very clear these childish games being played didn't end in childhood. It's almost like a return to the schoolyard, but much worse. Children can set aside their differences much easier. Today's squabble is tomorrow's reconciliation. Not so with adults.

When one woman is suddenly excluded, you can usually blame this group dynamic on an adult queen bee. (She will be surrounded by a group of adoring, and easily led, flying monkeys" who go along with her nasty plan.) Female bullies use social aggression to harm others. Excluding someone, along with their children, is a wicked thing to do, because it hurts the children so much.

Things were much healthier back in the day when mothers could open their doors and let their children play outside, expecting them back in time for lunch or dinner.

Pixabay image top by Nemo

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