Thursday, October 16, 2014

Be Careful Whom You Help - A Narcissist Will Always Take Advantage of You

Malignant narcissists will gladly accept your help, even as they're plotting to destroy you. In my experience, a morally disordered person will never turn down an offer of assistance, because she's a taker, not a giver. Those of us who've lived through a betrayal by a female friend or coworker can probably look back upon all the times we've extended ourselves to help this person, only to be repaid with evil and deceit.

I'm starting to think some of the more severely disordered narcissists derive pleasure from watching us do something kind for them, or a series of kind acts, before they go for the kill. This is very similar to the thrill they get from being sneaky and deceptive, and getting away with it.

Getting taken advantage of is a terrible experience. However, we still need to help people, because that's what makes us human. Yet we need to do so in a way in which we're not exploited.

This is where limits and boundaries enter into play. Setting better boundaries is something I had to learn how to do, and I'm still working on it.

It's also where discernment comes in. Learning to spot the signs of narcissism, covert and overt, can help us determine just how much help to offer any one person, and how emotionally involved we want to become.

One way to do this is to look for inconsistencies in someone's story. I've yet to meet a malignant narcissist who was not an habitual pathological liar.

Pixabay photo top by babawawa

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