Monday, November 24, 2014

A Narcissist's Words Versus Her Actions

If you want to learn what someone's truly made of, watch what they do, and ignore what they say. Looking at someone's actions gives you a much better read than listening to their words. With nearly every malignant narcissist I've met, there's a serious disconnect between what they profess and what they really intend to do.

Since this blog is about female malignant narcissists, there is one way in which a morally disordered person often gives herself away. Watch for how she treats her loved ones, and disregard how she claims to treat them. For instance, she may talk as if she's mother of the year. (Female narcissists with children will try hard to convince you of that.) However, curiously, they don't like to spend time with their offspring. This day-to-day maintenance work seems to be beneath them. So they're always looking for someone else to do this job. Unfortunately, the children of a narcissistic Mom suffer terribly, because she has, for all intents and purposes, checked out of their lives.

Oftentimes, it's the husbands who do all the heavy lifting when it comes to childcare, while Mom is off doing her own thing. This could be work related or it could involve shopping and going to the gym. It could even mean doing volunteer work, or spending a lot of time at church. What a narcissistic mother is looking for is the constant feeding of her ego, often referred to as "narcissistic supply." She is always on the lookout for new sources of supply, and this is more important to her than taking care of her family.

Let's say the narcissist doesn't have any young children at home. Does she claim to be a nice person? All malignant narcissists are overly concerned with how others view them, so they all pretend to be nice. However, do her actions align with her words? Does she gossip about others? Does she purposely exclude others from various events she's organized? If so, she's not very nice. Nice people don't behave this way. These are also warning signs that you may be dealing with a morally disordered person.

Pixabay image top by Nemo


  1. Indeed, my dad did ALL the housework, childcare and on top of that he had to do all the obvious male stuff at home. Lucky for mom he was a workaholic, a man who had to work from the tender age of 6, so it was "normal" to him to always be on the go. He felt very good about himself, the more he worked, so of course THAT was the main target of her bullying of him. She constantly mocked him for the very things he treasured most through all their marriage, and she continued doing so till he died 25 yrs or so after their divorce. It was mom wanting a divorse as she wanted him to have to sell his partents farm he had bought, and she tried her best but he managed to hold on to it. And, of course she filed for the divorce only TWO MONTHS before I was to have their first grandchild. That totally wrecked dad, as he'd imagined them being married for life (silly man) and he went into a deep depression for quite some time, I've heard. That is what these women do, to steel away attention from their NOT liked daughters, I've heard. :((

  2. Nothing surprises me anymore. I'm so sorry this has happened, and that your family has suffered. I also like to think there is a better world beyond this one, which is where I've set my sights at the moment. Not that we shouldn't enjoy life as much as possible here, but I believe Heaven is our true home, where all of our tears will be wiped away.

    1. Last year I had a dream about "heaven". My dad phoned me in the dream (he's dead) and after that I saw my grandmother (dead since the 80's) walking towards a long stair leading up in heaven. I saw many people I just knew were all dead and they all walked up the stairs, so I also followed.

      Up the stairs was another world that was EXACTLY like this one, but perfect. Nothing died, got old or rotten. Everything was new and there were no flaws, like here. This world here is so seriously flawed...