Thursday, November 27, 2014

Being Thankful for the Narcissist in Your Life?

I realize this might be difficult to read for someone caught in the middle of a web of lies, deceit and betrayal, three things female malignant narcissists specialize in. This is a very painful time, when the damage caused by a single person can seem otherworldly.

However, as  you look back upon this terrible time, you'll begin to see blessings. These you can thank the narcissist for. For instance, her actions may make it impossible for you to stay in your current work situation. What often happens is that you land someplace better, without the toxic office environment she created. Unless someone from upper management steps in to correct the problem, which almost never happens, you can rest assured this female bully is continuing on her wicked ways, and, in all likelihood, now targeting someone else.

Or, maybe you had a group of friends and the narcissist decided to divide and conquer. She managed to turn people against you, with her vicious lies. However, these people were never your friends to begin with. What happened is that they showed their true character, as weak, flying monkeys. To these people, you need to say goodbye and good riddance.

Eventually, you will be happy again. Actually, you'll be much happier than before, when you didn't know as much about malignant narcissists and how they operate. Armed with this knowledge, you will never again stand for being mistreated. You'll no longer overlook someone's serious character issues with the excuse of, "That's just how she is."

Undoubtedly, the most painful part of a narcissistic smear campaign is all the damage that results. You watch people you once considered your friends fall, one by one, under the wiles and charm of the narcissist.

As recover from this experience, you will realize that the narcissist was a blessing in disguise, because you won't be wasting your time with people who really don't care about you and won't lift a finger to help, because their self preservation is much more important. They are willing to watch you suffer, and won't take even the slightest person risk to alleviate your misery.

So, we can be very thankful to the narcissist for exposing these folks. Now, we can make room for people with a lot more integrity.

Pixabay image top by GingerQuip


  1. Exactly my stand on it - that atleast I know now who truly cares for me and who only cares for themself. Like you wrote above, I've been one of those persons always making excuses for others behavior even it it hurt me alot. Soon after I brushed it off and forgave them. "It is only them being that way", "they don't understand how they affect me emotionally", "they didn't really mean it", "it was a bad day for them", and so on.

    Sometimes it might be all that, but sometimes it might be that they just don't CARE if they hurt you cause all they care about is themselves. It might even be a very malignant person who ENJOYS hurting you! Now my stance on this is that if they really care they would contemplate why I am upset with them, when I obviously is, and then come and talk to me RESPECTFULLY and LISTEN carefully and try and make me forgive them by actually aknowleging me and how the events hurt me. If that is too much of a bother to a person I don't believe they give a hoot about me!

  2. That's right. If they care about you, they will listen and then try to make things right. Otherwise, they don't.