We tend to think of malignant narcissists as popular, gregarious people who know how to work a crowd. Oftentimes, this is true. However, we should also be aware of another type of predator, one whom is just as dangerous, if not more so.
Sometimes, a covert narcissist will come across as a nerd. I have personally met a few of these, one of whom has caused a great deal of trouble in my life, because she was the last person I ever would have suspected of having such a dark side.
Posing as humble and unassuming, a covert narcissist may dress quite frumpy. In high school she was likely one of the least sought out girls, and probably had few friends. Now, though, in adulthood, she wants to dominate the social scene. So she ruthlessly targets other women who seem to have a lot of connections. If you meet one of these women in a social setting, such as when a group of young mothers get together, she will slowly begin organizing all the events, pushing out anyone whom she views as a threat. Adult female bullies use what's known as social aggression to isolate their targets. This is a very cruel type of bullying.
If you go to church, chances are very good that you'll run into a female covert narcissist. These ladies are drawn to religious organizations, because this is where they can find acceptance, and also where they can easily manipulate others, since no one expects to find such a treacherous soul at church, especially one who initially seems so nice.
Covert narcissists are also found in the workplace. If you make the mistake of trusting one of them, they will carefully file this information away. Then, they will use it to ruin your reputation.
In my own humble opinion, coverts are the worst kinds of emotional predators, precisely because they appear so unassuming, so they easily gain our trust.
Just be aware that someone who looks and acts like a wallflower may have a much darker side. She may be highly competitive, despite the meek facade. These covert narcissists are very difficult to smoke out, even for trained professionals. So be careful. Don't spill your guts to anyone you don't know well. And, as usual, if someone is a new acquaintance, don't automatically assume she's trustworthy just because she seems to be. These covert narcissists are the proverbial wolves in sheep's clothing.
Pixabay image top by Nemo