Unless someone is intimately familiar with malignant narcissism, chances are they'll have a hard time comprehending how someone can seem so nice, yet be so malicious. There is a such thing as covert narcissism, in which a person comes across as a saint, but. inwardly, is with envy and hatred. If you become their target, they will work very hard to destroy you. They want what you have, and they will do anything they can to get it.
Sometimes, though, a sadistic narcopath is not driven by envy. They may attack just to inflict pain, because they know they can get away with it.
Women with malignant narcissism are very good actresses, since they want everyone to think they are kind and caring. They've learned how to mimic the appropriate emotional response to portray themselves that way. If anyone suspected that this person had such a deep, dark character flaw, they'd run in the other direction.
Because most of us operate on a more honest level, it's hard to get our heads around the fact that a minority of folks think and act much differently. We tend to believe things we hear and take things at face value. It's this type of automatic trust that malignant narcissists exploit. They are able to commit outrageous acts against their target, because there are no social sanctions, since no one but their target has any clue they have an evil side.
This is why it's often recommended that targets remove themselves from the presence of a malignant narcissist. Because they are so deceitful, and others are so trusting, it creates a very unfair and unjust situation. No one who hasn't been a target of a narcissist, at some point in their lives, will be ever able to understand what you're going through.
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