Monday, November 17, 2014

Narcopaths Bite the Hand that Feeds Them


Every malignant narcissist that I've known shares a common trait. They will use you and take from you as much as they can before they turn on you. When they decide to attack, they are truly like mad dogs who, to borrow an old cliche, will bite the hand that feeds them. If you've read this far, I don't think I need to tell you how evil it is to repay kindness with betrayal and deceit.

What makes it worse is that most of the time, a narcopath's decision to inflict emotional harm is highy premeditated. They meticulously plot and plan in order to get you to stumble into the various snares they have laid. This takes time, and a morally disordered person will wait as long as necessary, for the most opportune moment, to spring her trap, or, more likely, a series of elaborate traps.

You are first set up during the grooming phase, where a narcissist pretends to be your "friend" while she's getting to know you. During this time, she may even enjoy your company, or at least the benefits you can provide. However, at some point, you'll do something that doesn't sit well with her, because narcissists set impossible standards to which no one can ever hope to measure up, especially over the long term.

Once this happens, the relationship shifts and the narc begins to focus on your destruction. At the same time, she's still pumping you for favors and possibly even some cash. However, you don't yet know what's just around the corner. You might detect a little more moodiness, but you still consider her a friend.

Then you enter the discard phase. Armed with your secrets, this "soul mate" turned foe has successfully ruined your other relationships, as female bullies strike out at their targets by means of social aggression. This is a very cruel form of bullying that leaves the target isolated. If this plays out in the workplace, as it often does, the target usually loses her job. This happens either because she resigns, under pressure, or is fired.

So if you've ever bent over backwards to help a malignant narcissist, who then turned on you, don't kick yourself. We've all been there.


Pixabay image top by Nemo

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