Saturday, November 8, 2014

Narcs Use Your Reactions to Destroy You

Malignant narcissists are emotional predators. Never underestimate their capacity to create conflict and cause harm. They employ a variety of tricks designed to destroy you, and they are so sneaky that those of us who don't suffer from this moral disorder usually can't even begin to comprehend how devious they can be.

Here is one example. A narcopath studies her targets thoroughly. So, when she's ready to attack, she knows just what buttons to push in order to get a reaction. It may take many little paper cuts, inflicted over time, until she draws some serious blood. But narcissists are very patient. They a curious mix of impulsive and plotting, and, if waiting serves her purpose, she can wait forever.

What she's looking for is a reaction from you. She wants an angry outburst, witnessed by others. Then, she can say, "See I told you so, I told you she was unstable."

Or, she'll send you confusing and inflammatory emails. Then, when you've just about had it, and you respond in an emotional manner, she's delighted. That's because she now has something to share with those people she's trying to turn against you.

Normal people do not scheme like this to bring down a rival. But a morally deficient narcopath will spare no effort, if she's out to neutralize someone.

Malignant narcissists are very dangerous and deceitful characters. Don't make the mistake of responding to one of these serial provokers.

Pixabay image top by Nemo


  1. I have read many of your posts. The Narcissist in my life is my daughter-in-law. She attempted to destroy our family business and now has removed my son from all contact with his family. They refuse to let us even see the ultrasound photos of their pregnancy. Distance from her means the loss of my son. I cannot simply accept this loss and move on. Even though they no longer speak with us, she is still at work undermining relationships with other friends and associates. Will she ever stop?

  2. Hi Lisa, I am so sorry to hear of your situation. Normally, the best advice is to cut ties with a malignant narcissist. However, in this case, you cannot do that, because of your relationship with your son, his marriage and the upcoming birth of your grandchild. I am so sorry she has managed to somehow turn your son against you. However, with time, and especially with the birth of his own child, he might just see the light.

    I can't give you too much specific advice because my children are not married yet. However, general advice may help, if you are dealing with a serious personality disorder. Narcissists are often over involved with their children, but, probably, more often than not, they emotionally check out of the picture.

    It sounds as if your poor grandchild is going to need you as a stabilizing influence. At the same time, mom warm up to you because you are now a potential babysitter, and she needs you.

    I don't know what religion you are. I am Catholic and I will pray for you, because it's going to take a miracle to change this situation. But God can do anything.

    Please feel free to check in here any time.