Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Wishing You've Never Met a Narcissist

After you discover that someone you considered a "friend" has a serious moral disorder, you begin to put the pieces together. No doubt she has caused a lot of damage. She has destroyed various relationships with other people. Perhaps she has driven you out of a social group. Or, maybe she has destroyed your reputation at work, and caused you to lose your job. In any event, it feels as if someone has repeatedly kicked you in the gut.

It's times like these, when we look back on what has happened, that we wish we had never met this person at all. Or, at least we wish we had realized much sooner this person's potential for deception and treachery.

However, as tempting as this type of thought pattern is, it's not a healthy one. (I'll admit I once spent way too much time dwelling on the "what ifs.") The reason we need to step away from this mindset is because it's not productive. We can never go back in time and change what has already happened. All we can do is move toward acceptance, and, eventually forgiveness. The popular saying, "It is what it is," definitely applies here.

If you've recently suffered from narcissistic abuse, at the hands of another female, and you've just realized this, you have a right to be angry and upset. Few things are more difficult to get past, than betrayal by a "friend," someone whom you assumed was pulling for you, and not working against you.

However, in time, believe it or not, you will also see the blessings that have come about as a result of this experience. You won't see them right away, especially while your wounds are fresh. But you'll see them later, when you'll look back on what has happened.

Tomorrow, which is Thanksgiving Day in the United States, I'm going to write about why I'm now thankful to the woman, to the fake friend, who once turned my life upside down. (You can read about my experience in earlier posts.)

In the end, the abusers and deceivers always turn out to be the losers. (I'll also discuss this more in a future post.)

Pixabay image top by kropekk_pl

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