A malignant narcissist doesn't have a loyal bone in her body. Yet, she expects undying loyalty from her "friends." She will put you to the test, to prove your loyalty. Oftentimes, this is in the form of favors. For instance, she may need you to drive her children to certain activities. Or, she may want you to watch them for extended periods of time. (Narcissistic mothers typically shirk their responsibilities, and recruit others to raise their brood.)
Cold and calculating, they don't care about anyone else. It's all about them. They demand a lot, and you need to comply, if you wish to maintain the "friendship." As soon as you resist, or your use expires, she will discard you.
She may get angry the first time you say "no," and then decide to "punish" you by finding someone else to help her out. A narcissist's ego is so inflated, that she believes you're rewarded, or compensated, just by being in her company.
Or, perhaps the activity you drove her children to has ended. This also spells the end of the "friendship."
If you're a relatively new reader, you may not be familiar with the term "discard." This is a predictable phase that happens when you're involved with someone who has an anti-social personality disorder, such as malignant narcissism or even borderline personality disorder. There's also a non-technical way to describe these types, and that is "toxic."
Because people with these character flaws do not have empathy, or suffer remorse when they hurt others, they deceive and manipulate people to serve their own ends. If you're useful to them, then they keep you around. As soon as you're not, they dump you. But, oftentimes, they don't just walk away. Instead, right before they say goodbye, they decide to destroy your life.
This can include spreading outrageous lies about you, so that you become socially isolated. Or, if you work with the narcissist, she may try to get you fired.
We hear a lot about romantic relationships that have gone bad. However, female "friends" are capable of great treachery as well.
Discarding cannot be avoided, because it is impossible to please a narcissist over the long term. They have very stringent standards that no mortal could ever measure up to.
Unfortunately, the "friend" who pulls the trigger is the same one we were once willing to take a bullet for.
Pixabay image top by Hans