Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Being Friends with a New Person Following Narcissistic Abuse

As you recover from narcissistic abuse, at some point, you'll meet new people who are potential friends. Many people who survive such an experience report that they now attract folks with more integrity, as they are unwilling to stand for any more psychopathic games. This is one of the blessings that comes from your encounter with a disordered personality.

Since this blog is about female predators, whom emotionally abuse other women, I'm writing specifically about female "frenemies," or enemies in disguise. You learn of their true nature after they've created conflict in your life, and ruined other relationships. (But don't spend too much time mourning these other "friendships," as the connection was weak to begin with.)

Anyway, my own encounter with a malicious female sent me reeling, because she was one of the last people I thought would betray me. The fact that a "friend" had been working for years to destroy me was shocking. But it made me think about why I attracted such a character in the first place. I needed to change, if I didn't want another narcissist in my life.

One of the most critical changes centered around what I would tolerate. I had been too willing to put up with abuse. A critical "friend" is not a true friend. Someone who makes unkind comments, even if she's only trying to "help" you, is not someone you need around. Since cutting off contact with this person, my social problems resolved themselves.

Now that I know what to look for, I am taking the advice of television psychologist Dr. Phil McGraw. When a new person enters my life, I put them on a "watch list."

This, I believe, is an excellent recommendation. Personality disorders are so prevalent today, so we have to be very careful with people we don't know well.

In recent years, I've met some wonderful new friends. Never again will I allow a malignant narcissist to gain access to my world.

Unfortunately, though, I still seem to attract them. However, the relationship doesn't even get off the ground. I'm looking for warning signs, and I think they know it.

Narcopaths are always searching for a target. Once they realize it's not going to be me, they quickly move on.

Pixabay image top by geralt

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