Saturday, December 13, 2014
Friends Who are Moody
One clue that a person is toxic is that they're not even tempered. This is a bad sign when you're just getting to know someone. Despite the newness of the relationship, you feel as if you have to be careful not to say the wrong thing.
Everyone has their off days. Mature people are able to put whatever's bothering them into a mental box. This enables them to act politely toward other people, regardless of their own disappointments or upsets. However, people with personality disorders aren't always able to do this. Under stress, their true character shines through.
If someone doesn't hold you in high enough regard to at least treat you with civility, then you might want to take stock of this "friendship." Perhaps, it's not what you imagined it to be. Of course, everyone has a bad day. If you've known someone for a long time, and they're a trusted friend, you can cut them a lot more slack.
But someone you barely know, who wants to cultivate a relationship with you, shouldn't be lashing out, or acting angry or aloof. This indicates a lack of respect for you or poor self control, or, perhaps, a combination of both. Would you treat someone you cared about in this manner? Probably not.
Or, you may simply notice a friend or acquaintance runs hot and cold. You can't quite put your finger on whether this person is being rude or not. But you are left with a vague uncomfortable feeling. (Don't ignore this.)
This moodiness is to be taken seriously, especially if you know you've done nothing to offend them. If you like this person, you can try asking them what is wrong. If you don't get a satisfactory answer, definitely be careful. This means you should avoid entrusting this person with your secrets.
Oftentimes, the only early clues you are dealing with a covert narcissist are brief flashes of anger, or sudden moodiness. "Frenemies" aren't sure whether they love you or hate you. Usually, it's the latter. These are not people you need in your life.
True friends are approachable at all times. If something is bothering them, or they want more space, they tell you honestly. The relationship feels right. You feel comfortable.
Toxic "friendships" leave you with an icky feeling. They erode your confidence. So heed the warning signs.
Pixabay image top by Nemo