Saturday, December 20, 2014

How to Tell When Someone Really Doesn't Like You

Some of us have "friends" that are really enemies. In the best case scenario, it means they don't like you. The worst case is that they hate you, but, for some reason, pretend to be your friend. When you're not looking, they're very busy undermining you. Their ultimate goal is to destroy you, or, at the very least, cause you to suffer.

Despite their true feelings, these enemies-in-disguise wear a mask, so they pretend to be pulling for you. If you consider this person a friend, you probably share your problems with them. If your problems involve a relationship with someone else, there's a good possibility your friend/enemy is causing the trouble, especially if she suffers from malignant narcissism. (Narcissists are extremely divisive.) This and other similar conditions, such as borderline personality disorder, are often why women treat one another so badly.

The root of the problem, between you and your supposed "friend," is female rivalry. Overcome with envy, she wants what you have. If she can't have it, she doesn't want you to have it either. And she wants to steal whatever happiness you have away from you.

The good news is that these "friendly" enemies have virtually no power over us, once we smoke them out. As soon as you realize what they're up to, they do a disappearing act. (That's the best thing that can happen to you.) This usually starts as soon as you catch on to their act. For some reason, malicious personalities are very good at reading people. So they're very adept at picking up on subtle clues a relationship has shifted.

So, how can we tell when another woman really doesn't like us? Please understand that one or two incidents may mean nothing. Your friend might be having a bad day. However, if you see an ongoing pattern, pay attention. Here are some things to watch for.
  • The relationship is one sided. This means that you do all of the inviting. Although this sometimes happens, even in good relationships, there should be reciprocity on the part of the other person. This can take various forms, such as cards, thank you notes, and even sincere statements, such as, "I really enjoyed spending time with you.
  • Not being available. True friends will make time for you, even if it's just for a few minutes.
  • General moodiness. This is a bad sign. Most people are able to contain their bad moods around people they respect. If someone is consistently rude, she doesn't care enough about you to behave civilly. Good friends are usually delighted to see you, and are not put out when you call them on the phone, or walk up alongside of them to chat.
  • Snide comments. Even though an enemy may try to keep her mask attached, sometimes it slips. You'll see this in the form of snide comments, which seem to come out of nowhere. Even if she quickly catches herself, this type of behavior is inappropriate. Real friends don't do this. Rather than criticize you, they take pains to spare your feelings.
  • Stories that don't add up. People with personality disorders tend to lie a lot. If you catch someone lying, look for other red flags, such as moodiness.
Once you sense that your "friend" may not be true blue, play your cards close to your chest. Above all, don't share your secrets or personal information. Someone with a personality disorder will take every opportunity to use this against you.

Pixabay image top by Nemo

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