Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Why We Become Narc Magnets


Most of my life, I've been a magnet for narcissists. I now realize that it's probably always going to be this way. But there's good news too. The questionable folks I've attracted, following my eye-opening experience with a malignant female "friend," quickly realize I'm not as naive as, perhaps, I appear to be.

Why some of us draw these types into our lives remains a mystery. In my case, I'm pretty sure it has to do with my upbringing. Raised primarily by old-fashioned grandparents, I was trained to be polite in all circumstances. I don't think this is a bad thing, under normal conditions. But we did have some relatives, whom I now realize had serious personality issues. When they were at my grandparents' house, as they often were, I was expected to treat them with deference and respect.

In fact, two of them, were treated like royalty. From a young age, I was trained to view this couple, my aunt and uncle, as normal. Also, I was expected to cater to them, despite the fact they considered me a nuisance. Later, it came out that they greatly resented the fact my grandparents taken on a parenting role. In addition, it became greatly apparent how much they both hated my mother.

I still believe my grandparents did their best. Because they didn't really know what they were dealing with (two narcissists, and one very malignant one) they couldn't really protect me, or anyone else, from these very strange dynamics.

It's as if this narcissism epidemic has blindsided all of us, and it appeared to catch my grandparents off guard. Being from another generation, above all, they wanted to maintain peace in the family. In no way do I blame them for what happened.

However, I do believe these family dynamics set me up for my later encounter with a female "friend." I'll probably always be a narc magnet, but I think I'm giving off much different signals about what I will tolerate, now that I know that haughty, arrogant and entitled behavior is not normal or acceptable.

Pixabay image top by Nemo

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